Dear Interwebs

Image courtesy of www.depositphotos.com

Image courtesy of www.depositphotos.com

 

Dear Interwebs,

We need to talk. This has been building for a while and no, it’s not me. It’s you. What? You don’t understand? You thought everything was fine? Well, let me see if I can spell it out for you.

  • No, I do not want to stay logged in.
  • No, I do not want you to send me notifications.
  • No, I do not want you to remember my¬† password.
  • No, I do not want to chat. Please stop asking every few seconds. If by some chance I change my mind, I know where to find you.
  • No, I do not want to log in using Facebook or Google or any other third party.
  • Yes, I know your site uses cookies. Everyone’s site uses cookies.
  • No, I don’t want to sign up for “email deals” just because I visited your site. Once again, if I change my mind, I know where to find you.
  • Stop with the snarky “No, I don’t want to save money, etc.” messages when I don’t want to give you my email address. It’s not a good look for you.
  • No, I’m not a robot but please stop with the “chose the pictures that show whatever” collages; they’re unnecessarily stressful.
  • I don’t want to have to close several pop-ups and scroll past videos just to read an article on your site. You’re not that special.
  • Auto-play videos will immediately put you on my “never visit this site again” list. Seriously. Why do you think I need to be forced to watch a video on how Himalayan Pink Salt is “made”? It’s salt; it already exists, it’s not being made. On another note, I simply don’t care.

Thanks for listening. I would like to think that you will take my words to heart and change. However, I’m not going to hold my breath.

Signed,

Me

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