Photo courtesy of www.123rf.com
I’m not a fashionista and I’ve never been a girly-girl. Those facts aside, I confess to an obsession with the wedding dress shows Say Yes to the Dress and I Found the Gown. While I’m aghast at how much can be spent on a dress that will be worn once, I do love looking at the gowns and wondering which one I would pick. Yes, I’ve been married almost twenty-eight years and I’ve never tried on wedding dresses.
Like most little girls, I dreamed of my wedding day – how special it would be and what I would wear. I never once dreamed of a hurry-up, shotgun wedding with a hand-me-down wedding dress. Yet, that is exactly what I had. My own wedding was planned and executed in less than two months and I wore a too short, hand-me-down gown. I sewed lace onto the bottom of the dress and wore flats – both because of the length of the dress and so that I wouldn’t be taller than my husband.
Four years in, my marriage fell apart. We eventually decided to work things out and even renewed our vows in an intimate service with just my husband, myself, and the pastor. Still no wedding gown.
Now, all these years – and a very happy marriage – later, I find myself dreaming of the dress that I never had. The practical part of me says that it is silly, I don’t need the gown; I have the husband and the relationship and those are what is important. The more frivolous side of me says that it’s okay to not be practical all the time. After all, I’ve reached a point in my life where I can actually afford to splurge on a dress (within reason, of course).
So, in my mind, I have two options. One, I can try on dresses to my heart’s content, purchase the one that I love and have another vow renewal ceremony (or something similar) to commemorate our thirtieth anniversary in two years. Or two, I can just suck it up, accept my wedding-dress-less past, and continue living vicariously through others every Friday night courtesy of TLC.
This is where I need some feedback from you. What do you think I should do? Go for it or let it go? Or is there another option that I haven’t considered?
I say option 1, definitely. Every girl deserves to have a beautiful wedding dress at least once in her life. And I think that it would be very romantic to have a ceremony like that for your 30th anniversary.
Thanks Elena! It’ll be nice to have some backup when I tell my hubby what I want to do.
Definitely go for it!
Thanks Sara! That’s the direction that I am leaning in; it’s nice to have some encouragement.
I’m the wrong person to ask because wedding dresses do nothing for me. I got mine very cheap. So, given the pragmatic person I am, I’d take the money I’d save on buying a dress and go on a trip with the hubs instead. See? I told you I was the wrong person to ask.
But in all seriousness, go with your gut (and heart). Let your brain take a backseat on this one. If your heart and gut really want it, then go for it. Don’t let your brain talk you out of it. You deserve it!
Absolutely goo for it! You. Deserve to have the ceremony of your dreams!!!!
Thanks Ami!
One more thing, dress or not, there’s no reason too stop living vicariously through wedding dress shows. After all, who doesn’t love looking at a $20k Pnina Tornai gown, and wondering who in the heck would spend that kind of $$$$ on a dress! (unless of course you did, and then it would be fabulous! *grin*)
I have seen beautiful dresses that cost as much as my car! Being the cynic that I am, I find myself hoping that the marriage lasts long enough for the dress to get paid off! O_o
I’d get one cheap & used, but I already told you that on Twitter :). My wedding dress is actually a medieval costume from a Ren Faire.
Very cool, Jody! I was actually thinking about that earlier today. I love the dresses that they sell at Ren Faires, but suspect that I might need a custom version so that it would be long enough.
I’m also the wrong one to ask, but for the opposite reason. I didn’t have the wedding of my dreams simply because it would have cost too much, and I’ve already placed a deposit on the same chapel where we were married 24 years ago for a vow renewal ceremony next year. So I am biased toward option 1 for you. I have to start saving now for my dress, though I don’t want to do a full gown this time. I love those gown shows on TLC, and I’m in love with Randy. I say if you have the means, go for it! As they say, you only live once.
That is so cool, Lorelei! I love Randy too. That would be my ultimate dream – shopping at Kleinfeld’s in New York and meeting Randy. That’s a little too far away though. *sigh* Best wishes with your vow renewal!